The Obama administration doesn’t have enough to do just running the country. ISIS, Middle East chaos, climate change, the Benghazi scandal, the Clinton email scandal, the IRS scandal, the VA scandal, Vladimir Putin trying to rebuild the grandeur of the old Soviet empire, gun control, mass murders, zero water in California, golfing, vacations abroad in every major country, fat school children, and trying to spread the wealth around. I’m exhausted just trying to imagine how he does it.
Now, in a broad and sweeping grand design to control every last aspect of our lives, the United States government, more specifically the National Park Service, is putting the screws on FOOTBALL and the NFL franchise owners.
Washington DC and Redskins owner Daniel Snyder have been working on an agreement to move the Redskins back to their old home stadium — the RFK Stadium. That would mean a makeover for the old stadium, which would mean JOBS! But no, Secretary of the Interior, Sally Jewell, that jewel who is quarterbacking the Park Service, has declared that the Washington Redskins will not be allowed to hike another ball in their old stadium unless the Redskins’ owner agrees to a name change. And coincidentally –Obama thinks the name should be changed too.
According to the Washington Post, Secretary Sally Jewell, whose department includes the Nation Park Service (NPS), told D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser in April that, unless the Redskins change their name, the Obama administration would not work to accommodate construction of a new venue. In a letter a local NPS official told Bowser the agency opposed the idea of building a new stadium.
“As I believe the Secretary made clear in our discussion, the NPS will not take a position in support of such an extension at this time,” Robert A. Vogel, a regional NPS director, wrote in the letter obtained by the Post.
Vogel told Bowser she and her staff are nonetheless free to pursue legislation that would authorize the construction.
Jewell, who also oversees the agency responsible for federal relations with American Indian tribes, has criticized the Redskins name as a relic of the past, an opinion President Obama shares.
“Personally, I think we would never consider naming a team the ‘Blackskins’ or the ‘Brownskins’ or the ‘Whiteskins,’ ” Jewell said last year.
“So, personally, I find it surprising that in this day and age, the name is not different,” she continued.
Many Democrats in Congress don’t have enough to do either. As The Hill reports, they want the name of the team changed too. Apparently having the Patent and Trademark Office cancel the team’s trademark, calling it offensive to Indians, wasn’t good enough.
Mr. Snyder, in case you don’t understand the government interference in your privately-owned business IT’S SIMPLE. We’ve broken it down for you Barney-style.
You may run the business you own any way you want to, as long as you conform to where the government gives you permission to operate, as long as you have a PC business name, and you do business with the customers that the government says you must serve!
Here’s America’s new football under Obama:
> Franchise names available: The Pansies, The Petunias, The Prophets
> Locations: you may build a stadium on any government controlled property so the government can control you
> Logos: nothing offensive, nothing violent, nothing referring to race, religion, sexual orientation, historical aggression (i.e. Patriots) or animals (must not upset PETA),
> Football rules: women must be included on the teams (it’s discriminatory if you don’t), no tackle football (too dangerous), you can only win six games a season (more than that is unfair to the other teams ), there will be no Super Bowl — all the players who didn’t make it won’t feel good about themselves, so everyone will get a trophy for completing each season.
> Cheerleading squads MUST include at least one transgender member.
> Stadium concessions: No buttered popcorn or pizza (bad for cholesterol), you may only sell turkey dogs on gluten free buns or garden fresh salad with sprouts; no beer (too fattening); you may sell sparkling water with lemon or carrot juice. However, in some jurisdictions, marijuana brownies may be permitted in certain states as long as they are made with single-origin, responsibly-sourced cocoa and sweetened with agave syrup.
> Absolutely NO sky boxes permitted. The franchise owners must sit in regular seats, because it wouldn’t be fair otherwise. And never forget YOU DIDNT BUILD THAT, someone else did.
There you have it. Freedom for business owners just the way the Founders envisioned it.
[Note: this article was written by Ashley Edwardson]