ISIS now paying for weddings and honeymoons

I guess the ISIS brass are taking their cues from Hitler and his henchmen, encouraging their terrorists to marry and produce more little terrorists as soon as possible. In fact, they are now coughing up a “marriage bonus.”

AP reports, ISIS “is engaged in an ambitious project: building a new nation ruled by what radicals see as “God’s law,” made up of Muslims from around the world whose old nationalities have been erased and who have been united in the “caliphate.”

“To do that, the group has set up a generous welfare system to help settle and create lives for the thousands of jihadis — men and women — who have flocked to IS territory from the Arab world, Europe, Central Asia and the United States.”

As AP reports, ” Syrian fighter Abu Bilal al-Homsi was united with his Tunisian bride for the first time after months chatting online.” Awesome! If you’re too busy beheading Christians and burning air force pilots alive to make the dating scene, you can presumably search ISISmatch for a nice bride.

After chatting on the internet, Abu and his mail order bride got hitched. AP says “It was all made possible by the marriage bonus he received from the Islamic State group. $1,500 for him and his wife to get started on a new home, a family — and a honeymoon. “According to the groom, al-Homsi,”It has everything one would want for a wedding.”

They married, “then passed the days dining on grilled meats in upscale restaurants, strolling along the Euphrates River and eating ice cream.” The happy couple honeymooned in Raqqa — the riverside provincial capital overrun by ISIS about 18 months ago and now according to intel reports, ISIS HQ.

Can you imagine it? Walking along the streets of the ancient city, holding hands with your new love, stepping over the heads littering the sidewalks? There’s nothing more romantic than militants beheading Christians or stoning adulteresses in public while you’re taking in the beautiful Euphrates River and having some ice cream or a latte.

If you do decide to visit Raqqa with your new spouse, be aware you might be examined by gunmen at city checkpoints. Dedicated fanatics are always on the lookout for any signs of a violation of Shariah law. Even a smidgeon of hair gel could result in years of jail time. You won’t need your trousseau either — just a big black burka. Think of all the money your parents will save.

AP says “helping fighters marry is a key priority. Aside from the normal stipend, foreign fighters receive $500 when they marry to help them start a family. The 28-year-old al-Homsi got a particularly large bonus because his new wife is a doctor and speaks four languages.”

“It was from his social media activity that he met his wife, who admired his online media briefings.”

Ooh yes, nice briefings!

Al-Homsi apparently used the money from his grant to “prepare a home for his new bride, and four kittens.”

How sweet!! Even brutal jihadists think kittens are cute. Well, how could they not?

I’ve heard Al Jezeera is considering a new pilot series called “Real Housewives of Raqqa.” My guess is it will be a real bomb –pardon the pun.

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